Day 2: Separation

Today started normal, I prayed at 12, as written in the standard. I then went on my day until I went to church.

Started with a bible study, Romans 2 and then Romans 3 tomorrow. I had a talk with Alma about the mindset going into a bible study and service.  We then went evangelizing, which I think went pretty well. I saw a family friend, which I thought was strange. I got 3 contacts for the newsletter. I feel sort of strange doing evangelism, because I wonder if I were to evangelize myself would I just ignore me? I also feel sort of nervous about bothering others. Then we went to Olivette university (OU) for a bible study. The message was of zacchaeus and how he overcame obstacles to fulfill his desire to meet Jesus. I was then picked first, as usual, to give my reflection, and I gave it, but I did not feel good about it. I felt it was really generic and carried no emotion. I’m really perplexed on why I even said that reflection.  Pastor Anna gave us an assignment, but I only wrote down half of it so I have to ask Alma what it is. I also didn’t get to plug this blog, I’ll do it tomorrow after service.  Daniel also said that Ken is sick, so I hope he feels better, I’ll pray for him.

I then went home and bummed a swipe from Karen, bumming a swipe for the train feels bad. It’s not a real proud thing to happen to me, but me and Karen talked about how different we react to the messages. I also read a chapter of Starship Troopers, a book which I have had for about 3 years and never bothered to finish.

I then went home, my mother told me that the family friend had told her of my evangelizing, also said I told her that her husband should come. I told her to say hi to him for me. I haven’t told anyone in my family that I’m doing the 40 days. I don’t tell them because I separate what I do at church from home. I don’t usually write reflections before the deadline because my brothers are always near me and it makes me uncomfortable to write. I did this when I was going to school. I would never bring any issue that I had with school home. When I did it usually didn’t end well and didn’t fix the problem, because I was not telling them everything.  I think it’s how I cope with life, by separating home and everything else. What I do at the church is something I hold on only to me.  It;s one of the issues I need to work on.

I then ate and just mostly watched youtube videos and played Medieval 2: Total War. I’m playing as Sicily, if you were curious. I did not even watch Day 5 of the G1 Climax today, I’m not sure if it was uploaded. Main Event is tomorrow, but it’s turned to a C-Show of the WWE, so I it not a big deal if I miss it. I’m kinda sad that Toru Yano can’t win the G1 Climax, since no matter how many wins he gets now he can’t get enough points to go the finals, I didn’t think he was going to win anyway, but he has been great, I kind want to buy his DVD that he keeps trying to sell everyone in every match and appearance he does.

I read this comic from Zen Pencils,about two wolves inside our spirit, and I feel it relates to the issues I face. I have read this comic before but I looked through the archives and saw it again. I have spent these past few years feeding the dark wolf of myself. Going to church, I hope I can feed the white wolf, and I feel that I have, but sometimes I feed the black wolf out of habit. In this spiritual battle inside me I hope that the good wolf wins in the end.

Day 2 END

-Manuel

Day 1: Start

Today is the start of my 40 days.

my goals for this are:

1. Improve self-esteem

2. Start to let go of past

3. Read half of the Bible (New testament)

 

This blog is to write about what I do during the days, that are not written in the daily reflection. Like what I watched, did, played and etc.

I got up around 11 AM but just stay in my bed till 12 pm arrived, so I could pray for 5 minutes. I sorta have difficulty praying for 5 minutes because I’m at a loss for words. I had to dispose of some rats that the stray cats had half-eatened.  Got a haircut, I felt I should get one to start the 40 day’s, I also was fresh off a haircut when I was evangelized by Alma and Karen. Then I went to the Bronx Immanuel Church.

I did the one on one Bible study with Alma and then MONDAY NIGHT FELLOWSHIP with the other members. It was a nice time. I talked to Karen about my Ipod and she asked me if I had any praise music, I said no and she said I should put some in. I’ll put some in during this week. The only songs that have to do with God, that I know of, in the Ipod are Stairway to Heaven and Made in Heaven.

I then went home to eat some delicious Pollo Campero. It was good but not as good as the Pollo campero from El Salvador. Then I went on to watch Monday Night Raw,  something I do every monday, because I’m a wrestling fan. I was a very odd episode and didn’t think it was great, just weird. Luckily New Japan Pro Wrestling, is having the G1 Climax around this time, and it has been amazing. I don’t understand the commentary and promos, except for the Wrestlers that speak English, but NJPW is on top of their game. I wish I could watch the Internet Pay Per views, but their usually around 5 AM and I don’t want to come to the church on no sleep.  Good thing someone uploads the show for me to watch, but with the 40 day’s schedule I might not have a chance to watch all of it this week until Saturday.

Tomorrow is Day 2 of the 40 Day’s, a lot of stuff to do. Bible study at 3 , evangelizing at 4, and then going downtown for 6:30 bible study.  It’s going to be lots of fun. I am worried that I will run out of funds for the metrocard, hopefully I can get some money to keep going downtown.

Day 1 END

-Manuel